For many years now I have toyed around with and not fully faced
the fact that I may be depressed.
It’s cause for worry because lately I have been bouncing
off the walls inside my own head and stuff has started leaking out through my mouth.
I suffer from bouts of “foot in mouth disease”. I know exactly where it comes
from but not revealing the source is my inherent constitutional right, let’s
just say I have been through a lot.
I come from a well-rounded if not privileged background;
balanced childhood etcetera and honestly I know I should know better. But here
I am 21 yrs and 91months old, divorced, single parent in limbo. Raising my
child as best I can while trying not to lose me.
I don't think there are enough blank papers in the world
that could contain the things I am bursting to say. At the same time I’m not
even sure anyone wants to hear what I have to say. I don’t know if when I speak
it will just serve my need to heal or if someone out there can relate and share
how they survived. Bottom line is this, if I don't purge my soul somewhere,
somehow this disease that I have…this “foot in mouth” I will keep hurting the
people that love me.
I hate who I have become as much as I love her.
I ain't no feminist.
That said,I have a few things to say about men:
I love a man
For the sake of this story I am going to give him a name... a
strong name- I am going to call him
Make any inferences you want to about why he is so named,
because they are probably true. I met Nemesis late 2012 when I casually went to
watch a soccer match at a pub with a Non-entity friend type dude I had in my
life at the time. The match that was on was a Chelsea game- heaven only knows
why I was there, I don't even like soccer. I WAS BORED OUT OF MY MIND. So I sat
there with this insignificant Nonentity and pretended to make as if I was
remotely moved by blue shirts and sweaty well-formed thighs .
Nemesis and I got to talking, so comfortably that even
Nonentity moved aside and watched as we exchanged numbers
At that point I never knew how much of an impact this man
would have on my life. I never realised our souls intertwined. I never knew I would
be here
( Follow me on Twitter : @mazituwe )
( Follow me on Twitter : @mazituwe )
And thats how the story began..But guys wat about the insignificant nonentity?moved aside and watched you exchange numbers kikikiki...im sure that stung
ReplyDeleteNonentity was just that, a means to an end. Can't even call him an acquaintance because I know nothing about him further to his first name,that he drove a small black car and supported Chelsea. Hahaha, You know how it's said you meet people for a reason,season or to learn something about yourself. Nonentity put me where I needed to be to meet Nemesis
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