Monday 6 January 2014

A Game Of Numbers



For many months I kept Nemesis's number in my contacts. 

Even when I changed numbers over 3 times I carried him with me. I had to change my number constantly because of the stalker tendencies of many an ex I have encountered.

Down the line a good ten months after initially meeting Nemesis I decide to give him a call. He obviously didn't have my number anymore.

….but with barely two sentences said, he knew exactly who I was.

I'll be honest, I felt no elation in the least about being 'remembered' but I just needed to talk, laugh and to come out of my shell. I wanted a friend, anybody as long as they could make intelligent conversation and made me laugh, that was sufficient.

From that soccer night ages ago I barely recollect much except how he was the 1st person to make me laugh in what felt like eons. I actually felt my diaphragm! 

That was all I wanted and needed at the time. I wasn’t looking for a man, a hero, lover, saviour... nothing . Just company.

I have been divorced for 4+ years now. I am totally comfortable with my being single that it is sad to most. I got used to being single while I was still married really. I’m not bossy about it but to be honest I conduct my life in such a way that the only thing a man could offer me that might enrich my life is a phallus. If you think about it, plenty of adult shops sell phalluses. So it just further negates their necessity to me. I am not needy of the things a man needs the quintessential girly girl to be needy of. 

Yeah there have been relationships, flings, self-help sex, casual sex and even rampant animal sex whatever-these things happen.

For the most part I am my own man, self-reliant, strong etc. Anything a man can give me I give me better. Granted this is an avenue for maintaining sanity and dignity somewhat. Because I am so self-aware men are very safe around me, and most women (would ultimately realise that their men)would be too if they got to know me.

THAT SAID, it can also be the same thing that leaves you soaking the pillows in tears every night wondering why you are lonely even when you aren’t alone.

In order to  have a full human experience one can never live as an island. There are needs, not just carnal, but needs nonetheless

So I called Nemesis, he called me back, we chatted a bit (READ- A LOT) light, effervescent, delightful banter


Yes it was late but he suggested after waffling on and on for almost half an hour that we meet for drinks....NOW

( Follow me on Twitter : @mazituwe )

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